Roast: Central Oregon Professionals Association
Remarks Delivered As A Roast for Laura Craska Cooper
On The Occasion of Honoring Her as Central Oregon Professional’s Association,
Boss of the Year, Delivered by Crook County Judge Scott R. Cooper and husband
of the recipient, Widge Creek Golf Course, Bend, Oregon, October 23, 2002
Good evening. It’s my pleasure to be here tonight to roast my wife, who has been honored by your organization with the title Boss of the Year. I appreciate the opportunity to speak on the topic of my wife’s fitness to be a boss, because I have a lot of expertise in this subject, for I am indeed the most bossed person in Laura’s life.
Laura’s secretary, Cindi Smith, is here tonight, too. It was Cindy who first nominated Laura for Boss of the Year. Cindi will tell you that she is actually the most bossed person in Laura’s life, but the truth is, the office actually works the other way around: it is Cindi, not Laura, who does the bossing at Ball Janik.
Therefore, I claim the credit for being the person in Laura’s life who has most helped her hone her bossing skills to a fine edge.
I have known Laura since we attended college together at the University of Missouri-Columbia in the mid 1980s. I first met her at a fraternity house party. The circumstances involved in our meeting are not important, but I will tell you that a great deal of gin was involved.
Laura has a favorite memory of those days. I assume it is her favorite memory because she never misses an opportunity to bring it up. Appropriately for the context of this evening’s event, this memory is about a job, specifically about hiring for a job: the very first job Laura didn’t get--the job for which as I have been reminded so many times, I didn’t hire her.
The story goes like this. Laura applied for a job as a legislative intern in a student lobbying group. I was chairing the board and making the hiring decisions for the organization. Laura happened to be dating my roommate at the time, who also worked for the organization. Since I was seeing quite enough of Laura in the fraternity house with my roommate, I decided not to hire her to hang around the office as well. This is when Laura learned a very important rule of bossing: BOSSES GIVE JOBS TO PEOPLE WHO DATE THE BOSS, NOT THE BOSS’S ROOMATE!
I think that this lesson must have sunk in for Laura, although it appears to have taken about 11 years. That’s how long it took for her to get back in touch with me after college and after the above incident. However, she did eventually figure it out, and she went after the boss, having dumped the boss’s roommate years ago. This brings up another important trait of good bosses: THEY ARE VERY GOAL-ORIENTED!
I did not quite understand just how goal-oriented Laura was when we first met in college. Apparently, I did not understand her goal-directed ways any better when we got back together in 1997. I certainly did not understand the dynamic that was going on around me. It was only after our wedding in 1998 that I found out that the day after I visited Laura in San Francisco, she called her mother in St. Louis and told her, “The only reason I’m not going to marry this guy is because he doesn’t ask me.” I didn’t know Laura and I were headed for marriage until 12 months later, and then I was stupid enough to think it was my idea. If the measure of a great boss is one who can guide people into the best decisions of their lives and do it in such a way that they think they did it all themselves, is it any wonder this woman is the boss of the year?
High on anybody’s list of traits of a great boss would have to be one who is thoughtful. Cindi will tell you that Laura shows her thoughtfulness through food. Lots of it. Laura routinely showers Cindi and her co-workers with homemade delights such as homemade breads, fresh garden vegetables and other kitchen delights. Cindi and her co-workers think Laura does this because she likes them. I’ve got a secret for you. Laura does this BECAUSE SHE CAN.
The truth is, Laura only recently learned how to cook.
How well I remember one New Year’s Eve when we were dating. I flew into San Francisco from Prineville about 6:00. Laura had invited 14 of her closest friends over for a formal sit-down dinner at 8. We got to her apartment about 7:30—just enough time for me to shower and change into black tie. Just before guests arrived, I emerged from the bathroom, ready to entertain the first arriving guests, only to find Laura pulling frozen chickens from the freezer compartment of the refrigerator. When I expressed doubt about whether we would ever eat, Laura assured me it wouldn’t be a problem: she would ask one of her guests to cook the birds!
Another time when Laura was working temporarily in the Tokyo, Japan, office of her law firm, she was asked to bring a dish to a 4th of July gathering of Americans. Far from American cookbooks, American supermarkets and a phone connection to her mother, Laura’s solution was novel: She sliced a package of weenies, poured a jar of barbecue sauce over them, stuck toothpicks in them and put the whole mess into a tea pot to carry with her on the subway. That was Laura’s idea of entertaining and cooking until only recently, so Cindi, you should really appreciate those biscuits, breads, cookies and pies. Thank your lucky stars you weren’t Laura’s secretary in Japan!
I suppose the other essential quality of any boss is competency. Employees want a boss who inspires confidence in what she does. Fortunately, competence is a way of life in Laura’s family. Her father is a retired financial planner. He was recently ordained as a deacon of the Catholic Church in St. Louis and spends his days ministering to the needy. Her mother returned to school after her children left home and graduated Summa Cum Laude four years later. Her sister is a successful family practice doctor, who was team physician to one of the Olympic training teams one year, and her brother makes the internet run. We tell our daughter that her aunt and uncle save people’s lives and help people talk to each other all around the world.
Laura, of course, is a real estate/land use attorney, and a very good one. Unfortunately, this is not a job easily explained to a two-year old. We tell our daughter that mama’s helps people, too. She helps people who have more money than they know what to do with find ways to get rid of it by building office buildings, subdivisions and bigger, greener golf courses. It’s VERY important work.
OK, my job here is done. I’m sure I’ve teased my wife enough tonight to ensure at least a week’s worth of sleeping on the couch.
In all seriousness, I think this award is very much deserved. Laura does care a lot about her staff and worries constantly about whether they are satisfied with their work, whether people in the rest of the company recognize their skills and accomplishments and whether their personal and professional lives are well meshed. She takes personal responsibility for the quality of the boss-employee relationship, and she extends that sense of responsibility into her efforts to keep her family happy and healthy and to improve her community. I think she’s a wonderful candidate for this award, and I know she is deeply humbled to receive it. I love you, honey, and it’s nice to see that some other people do, too.
On The Occasion of Honoring Her as Central Oregon Professional’s Association,
Boss of the Year, Delivered by Crook County Judge Scott R. Cooper and husband
of the recipient, Widge Creek Golf Course, Bend, Oregon, October 23, 2002
Good evening. It’s my pleasure to be here tonight to roast my wife, who has been honored by your organization with the title Boss of the Year. I appreciate the opportunity to speak on the topic of my wife’s fitness to be a boss, because I have a lot of expertise in this subject, for I am indeed the most bossed person in Laura’s life.
Laura’s secretary, Cindi Smith, is here tonight, too. It was Cindy who first nominated Laura for Boss of the Year. Cindi will tell you that she is actually the most bossed person in Laura’s life, but the truth is, the office actually works the other way around: it is Cindi, not Laura, who does the bossing at Ball Janik.
Therefore, I claim the credit for being the person in Laura’s life who has most helped her hone her bossing skills to a fine edge.
I have known Laura since we attended college together at the University of Missouri-Columbia in the mid 1980s. I first met her at a fraternity house party. The circumstances involved in our meeting are not important, but I will tell you that a great deal of gin was involved.
Laura has a favorite memory of those days. I assume it is her favorite memory because she never misses an opportunity to bring it up. Appropriately for the context of this evening’s event, this memory is about a job, specifically about hiring for a job: the very first job Laura didn’t get--the job for which as I have been reminded so many times, I didn’t hire her.
The story goes like this. Laura applied for a job as a legislative intern in a student lobbying group. I was chairing the board and making the hiring decisions for the organization. Laura happened to be dating my roommate at the time, who also worked for the organization. Since I was seeing quite enough of Laura in the fraternity house with my roommate, I decided not to hire her to hang around the office as well. This is when Laura learned a very important rule of bossing: BOSSES GIVE JOBS TO PEOPLE WHO DATE THE BOSS, NOT THE BOSS’S ROOMATE!
I think that this lesson must have sunk in for Laura, although it appears to have taken about 11 years. That’s how long it took for her to get back in touch with me after college and after the above incident. However, she did eventually figure it out, and she went after the boss, having dumped the boss’s roommate years ago. This brings up another important trait of good bosses: THEY ARE VERY GOAL-ORIENTED!
I did not quite understand just how goal-oriented Laura was when we first met in college. Apparently, I did not understand her goal-directed ways any better when we got back together in 1997. I certainly did not understand the dynamic that was going on around me. It was only after our wedding in 1998 that I found out that the day after I visited Laura in San Francisco, she called her mother in St. Louis and told her, “The only reason I’m not going to marry this guy is because he doesn’t ask me.” I didn’t know Laura and I were headed for marriage until 12 months later, and then I was stupid enough to think it was my idea. If the measure of a great boss is one who can guide people into the best decisions of their lives and do it in such a way that they think they did it all themselves, is it any wonder this woman is the boss of the year?
High on anybody’s list of traits of a great boss would have to be one who is thoughtful. Cindi will tell you that Laura shows her thoughtfulness through food. Lots of it. Laura routinely showers Cindi and her co-workers with homemade delights such as homemade breads, fresh garden vegetables and other kitchen delights. Cindi and her co-workers think Laura does this because she likes them. I’ve got a secret for you. Laura does this BECAUSE SHE CAN.
The truth is, Laura only recently learned how to cook.
How well I remember one New Year’s Eve when we were dating. I flew into San Francisco from Prineville about 6:00. Laura had invited 14 of her closest friends over for a formal sit-down dinner at 8. We got to her apartment about 7:30—just enough time for me to shower and change into black tie. Just before guests arrived, I emerged from the bathroom, ready to entertain the first arriving guests, only to find Laura pulling frozen chickens from the freezer compartment of the refrigerator. When I expressed doubt about whether we would ever eat, Laura assured me it wouldn’t be a problem: she would ask one of her guests to cook the birds!
Another time when Laura was working temporarily in the Tokyo, Japan, office of her law firm, she was asked to bring a dish to a 4th of July gathering of Americans. Far from American cookbooks, American supermarkets and a phone connection to her mother, Laura’s solution was novel: She sliced a package of weenies, poured a jar of barbecue sauce over them, stuck toothpicks in them and put the whole mess into a tea pot to carry with her on the subway. That was Laura’s idea of entertaining and cooking until only recently, so Cindi, you should really appreciate those biscuits, breads, cookies and pies. Thank your lucky stars you weren’t Laura’s secretary in Japan!
I suppose the other essential quality of any boss is competency. Employees want a boss who inspires confidence in what she does. Fortunately, competence is a way of life in Laura’s family. Her father is a retired financial planner. He was recently ordained as a deacon of the Catholic Church in St. Louis and spends his days ministering to the needy. Her mother returned to school after her children left home and graduated Summa Cum Laude four years later. Her sister is a successful family practice doctor, who was team physician to one of the Olympic training teams one year, and her brother makes the internet run. We tell our daughter that her aunt and uncle save people’s lives and help people talk to each other all around the world.
Laura, of course, is a real estate/land use attorney, and a very good one. Unfortunately, this is not a job easily explained to a two-year old. We tell our daughter that mama’s helps people, too. She helps people who have more money than they know what to do with find ways to get rid of it by building office buildings, subdivisions and bigger, greener golf courses. It’s VERY important work.
OK, my job here is done. I’m sure I’ve teased my wife enough tonight to ensure at least a week’s worth of sleeping on the couch.
In all seriousness, I think this award is very much deserved. Laura does care a lot about her staff and worries constantly about whether they are satisfied with their work, whether people in the rest of the company recognize their skills and accomplishments and whether their personal and professional lives are well meshed. She takes personal responsibility for the quality of the boss-employee relationship, and she extends that sense of responsibility into her efforts to keep her family happy and healthy and to improve her community. I think she’s a wonderful candidate for this award, and I know she is deeply humbled to receive it. I love you, honey, and it’s nice to see that some other people do, too.
posted by Scott Cooper | 4:31 PM
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